My favorite part of Secrets Of Underground London is the shots of the expert opening the door to the “secret underground” whatever. Seriously, practically every segment had the secret door being opened. I was disappointed by the lack of angels singing when the knob was turned. My other favorite part was the reenactments. Man, I love history special reenactments. I find it fascinating. How do you audition for these parts? Are there special talent agents for this? Do casting directors debate and discuss each audition? “ I just didn’t think his plague cough was authentic enough.” Really my main question is: how do I get a reenactment audition? I believe I would make an amazing Colonial Times butter-churner. Or better yet, the ghost of a butter-churner! It’s already on the bucket list, kids.
Top reenactment of Secrets Of Underground London? Well, that would be the Chislehurst Caves segment. Excavating Seaford chalk created the tunnels. Workers found a female skeleton down there and the story was they “woke her spirit”. In 1985, two guys accepted the challenge to sleep in the tunnels because that’s what bros do. The rule was they had to sleep separately. In the dead of night in the pitch-black tunnel, Bro #1 saw the reenactment of the female ghost. Bro #2 heard #1 screaming so he ran, only to find #1 unconscious with a dislocated shoulder. This story was told by an enthusiastic expert who may have spent too much time down there.
This brings me to my third favorite part of this show: the experts. I love them because they always seem like right before the camera was turned on they say, ‘Really? Yes. Yes. I can tell you all about it!” Then they tell you about the French engineer who created a cage structure so that unlucky workers could tunnel out the soft, muddy earth from under the Thames. Spoiler alert: it took about 18 years and one time 6 men drowned when the Thames broke through while digging. This was all said in an excited manner by the expert: “Two men even made it to the staircase before it was washed away!”
The Aldwych Station expert wasn’t as pumped up as the others but he did get to talk about The Blitz and the secret door (that was walked through) where precious artifacts from the British Museum were stored for safekeeping, including the Parthenon friezes. The other Blitz underground secret is not so secret since it is now part of the Imperial War Museum: Churchill’s WWII Underground War Cabinet. This expert got to deliver some of his tidbits with some creepy mannequins on the phone in the background. Then there’s a great shot of the expert standing behind Churchill while he was on the hotline to FDR. The guy kept touching Fake Churchill’s shoulder. Even a mannequin has to be annoyed by that.
What else did I learn from Secrets Of Underground London? Damn. Quite a lot really. There’s an underground river that was entombed because there was so much sewage and pollution in it that it was unsanitary. The Metropolitan line was the first tube line. Fancy facades were built to hide the unseemly train gaps. The lady at the underground London Silver Vaults talked about the celebrities that have bought silver and mentioned Rock Hudson and “the stars of Dallas” first. The British Library has a book storage that is 80 ft underground. They have an intricate conveyor belt system to get the requested book up to the public. Kicky music played while this happened. Because if the expert isn’t peppy enough, then the music will be.
