I assure you that this blog isn’t just “Obsessed with Masterpiece Theatre” but the Olympics have diverted my attention a wee bit. A lot bit. Now if only Jane Austen would snowboard the halfpipe…
That’s right! More Austen on Classic. This time it’s an encore presentation of Northanger Abbey… condensed, I’m assuming. My experience tells me that Austen doesn’t quite fit into 90 minutes.
This time the heroine is Catherine Moreland who reads and is enthralled by gothic novels by the likes of Ann Radcliffe (who I am now claiming as one of my ancestors. Just because). Catherine joins some wealthy family friends, the Allens, to Bath. She meets Henry Tilney at a ball (Austen ball: Take a drink!) and of course, is intrigued. She makes friends with Isabella Thorpe who’s brother is mates with her brother at school. Isabella is played by a pre-Oscar nomination, and even pre-Doctor Who Sally Sparrow, Carey Mulligan. The viewer is immediately suspicious of Isabella when she meets Catherine and says something like, “Oh, I’ve heard a lot about you. We are going to be very good friends, I’m sure.” Ulterior motive!!!
Isabella takes her to the Pump Room which I’ve seen on various travel shows about Bath. According to Rick Steves and Samanth Brown, the Pump Room serves water from the baths that people thought would cure all ills. And according to Rick’s and Samantha’s faces, it’s quite minerally.
Where does Northanger Abbey come in? Well, it happens to be the home of Henry Tilney and family. General Tilney, the dad, invites Catherine to stay there with them after John Thorpe (Izzy’s bro) tells him that Catherine is as good as the heir to the Allen fortune. Hello again, Ulterior Motive. Yes, John is wooing Catherine in a bullying way to get at her “fortune” just as Isabella got herself engaged to Catherine’s brother for the same reason. But that fortune thing is quite a leap if you ask me. She’s the Allen’s guest for a holiday. I’ve vacationed with friends before. Doesn’t mean I’m bumped up to number one in their will.
So Catherine goes to Northanger Abbey to hang out with nice Henry and his equally nice sister, Eleanor. (They have a brother, Captain Tilney, who apparently inherited the asshole gene from the General. He stayed back in Bath to de-flower Isabella. She sits up in bed and says, “So we are engaged?” He says something along the lines of “Get dressed.” He’s a charmer.) Since Catherine is so gothic novel happy, she thinks the General had something to do with his wife’s death. Henry gets angry with her and tells her she reads too much and it has made her imagination go wild. Poor Henry would never let Catherine see any movies today. Keep her away from CSI.
While Henry is away, the General kicks Catherine out. Not because she thought the cold bastard murdered his wife but because she really isn’t rich. And just to live up to his jerkness, he makes her take public transportation!
Henry goes to Catherine and begs his forgiveness for his father’s actions and basically says, “I’m disowned. Will you marry me?” And she’s like, “Yes!” And there’s a scene of their wedding and General Tilney lurking is the churchyard from afar…
What did I learn from Northanger Abbey? Make assumptions and act on them. Reading Lord Byron will make you think everyone was murdered. And in that same vein, not all assholes are murderers.
