Mustard Scene.
Rupert Penry-Jones and the Suffragette Lady rub mustard on each other. They are both scraped up and in pain so to alleviate the discomfort, they rub mustard on each other. Not all over. But mustard…on each other. He first puts some on her bare shoulder and there is a lot of longing looks and sexy wincing. And then she says, “Let me do your back.” To which I replied, “Hell yeah, sister!”
OK. That’s out of the way: The 39 Steps.
Penry-Jones plays Richard Hannay, a dashing man. He apparently worked at a mining company in Africa and now he’s back in London and he’s bored. But lucky him, his neighbor busts in his apartment saying that there are men outside that want to kill him and take his notebook. So what does one naturally do in this situation? Make that man some eggs! Yes, Penry-Jones (in a tux, I might add) makes breakfast for this guy. Oh and then the guy’s killed by some Germans. And the police think Hannay did it.
Penry-Jones is now on the run with the notebook. He has a conversation with a ventriloquist dummy on a train. He does a North by Northwest tribute in a grassy field. Then he meets the Suffragette, Victoria. Turns out Hannay is a wee bit misogynistic. Cracks about women voting and petticoats getting dirty, etc. This causes lovely 1930s movie-type banter between the two. (Quick comment: I missed what year this was supposed to be set so I was looking for clues. OK, English guy in Africa. Imperialism. Hmmm…oh! Archduke Ferdinand assassinated! Thank you.)
Now Penry-Jones is on the run again but now with Suffragette in tow. They smear mustard on each other and discuss the code in the notebook. They must get to Captain Kell. Kell is played by Alex Jennings who I saw on stage in London. Whenever I see him in something I feel like I discovered him. Like his part as Prince Charles in The Queen would not have happened without me. (My other discoveries include Chiwetel Ejiofer, Bill Nighy and David Tennent.)
Penry-Jones finally finds Captain Kell, only to discover that the Suffragette works for Kell. And that the Suffragette’s Uncle George was the double-crosser! It’s now about an hour and ten into this and no mention at all of…finally: the 39 steps. It comes up in a great scene where Hannay and the Suffragette work out all the clues in a matter of seconds. He says the guy-who-wouldn’t-eat-his-breakfast dipped his finger in milk. She says, “Invisible ink!” They’re good.
Uncle George is arrested. The main German bad guy is arrested. Hannay and Suffragette kiss. And then she’s shot! She falls in the water and he dives in after her. She’s gone. And in his grief he joins the military? Yes, four months later he is at a station about to ship off to war. And then he sees the Suffragette across the crowded station. “She’ll see you after the war,” he’s told. He smiles. Most likely dreaming of mustard.
What did I learn from The 39 Steps? Mustard helps with pain relief. Mustard makes it OK to touch a woman you are not married to. Mustard will now make me think of Rupert Penry-Jones.
