OH MY GOD, WHERE DO I BEGIN!?!?!
This week’s episode hit all the soap opera highlights: forbidden kisses, a wedding, an arrest and a funeral. I half expected Mr. Pamuk to burst through the doors, claiming to have been “cured” through a revolutionary surgery in Istanbul. I believe I said variations of “WHAT?!?” a few times during the two hours.
Let’s begin by addressing the biggest “What?!” in the room: Matthew leaping out of his wheelchair when Lavinia trips. He had mere tingles before but just needed his intended to hit a bad patch of rug for his legs to get back into the game. Everyone came running to see Matthew standing. I was really hoping to see Mary mouth, “Yes!” and fist bump the air but she remained dignified. It’s a good thing, too, because Matthew and Lavinia’s wedding is back on. Kind of as a reward for sticking by him, explains Matthew in not so many words. So Downton Abbey is abuzz with wedding stuff. Decorations, cake made out of plaster (more on that later) and then a lovely wave of the Spanish Flu. Yes, one night as all was gathering for dinner, people started swooning and sweating. First was Lady Grantham and then Carson. When Lavinia uttered the “I’m not feeling well either” line, I said out loud, “You’re dead, honey.” Because really, out of Cora, Carson and Lavinia, who’s going to kick it? And kick it, she did. Cora was on death’s door the whole time with O’Brien dutifully attending her and on the brink of confessing the Season One Soap Incident but Lavinia was just slightly sweaty and telling Matthew how she saw he and Mary kissing by the gramophone. She tells him how great they look together (all viewers agree) and that she doesn’t want to stand in the way of his happiness or some such stuff that’s only been uttered by the likes of Bill Pullman in Sleepless In Seattle. But then she takes a sudden turn for the worst and dies. How? they ask the doctor. He explains vaguely that this kind of flu does that sort of thing. (This was not Doctor Clarkson best time: when Matthew miraculously recovered, Doc said, “Oh, well, it was Spinal Shock and not a Severed Spine like I so admittedly told everyone it was. My bad.”)
So you think Lavinia’s blessing is all that Matthew and Mary need to be together, eh? Then you don’t know Downton Abbey! Matthew says, “We’re cursed! We killed Lavinia! She died of a broken heart!” And Mary says, “Yep” and leaves with CREEPY Sir Richard, formerly known as Game Of Thrones guy.
Mary was back to cold, selfish mode this episode. She turned on Carson when he declined to be her butler even though it was because CREEPY Sir Richard offered to pay Anna to spy on her. Mary was kind of bad ass, however, when she assembled a rescue team to go get Runaway Sybil and Branson. Mary was team leader, Anna was dutiful sidekick and Edith was the Speed Demon Roadster Queen. I expect some good Operation Detach Chauffeur fan fiction soon.
Yes, Sybil finally gave in to Branson and said to him, “I’m ready to travel and you are my ticket.” This was after a scene where she comes to him and says, “Hi.” And he says, “Did you decide?” “Not yet.” “OK, I’ll be here.” After getting stopped by her sisters from eloping, they return to DA to announce to the family. Lord Grantham, of course, is outraged. He even threatens to cut her off. But Sybil’s like, he has a new job, I got mad nurse skills. LG finally relents at the end and gives his consent. Which leads to my favorite Maggie Smith moment: she says to her son something like, “So you’ve consented, well I’ve already been figuring out how to spin it. We can make it work…” And that is why she is all that I aspire to be.
Other great Maggie moments:
- Recounting the Paris cholera, “Half the guests were dead before they left the ballroom.”
- To Edith, “Don’t be defeatist, dear. It’s very middle-class.”
- Regarding The Bryants wanting to talk to those who knew their son, the Major,”That lets me out, thank Heaven.”
Did I miss any quotes? Let me know. And I’ll see you next week for the two hour finale!
