This last episode has Downton Abbey wishing you a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and a Very Enjoyable Summoning Spirits With a Ouija Board.

Yes, the staff find a Ouija Board  and decide to give it a whirl…with the help of some servants that I’ve never seen before. Was it just me or did DA’s Christmas Special have a bigger budget for servant extras? Anyway, Thomas and O’Brien play around with it and then Mrs. Patmore “receives” a message from William in order to convince Daisy to visit his father which she does (I was sort of close when I predicted that William would “return”).  So Julian Fellowes is done with the spooky-spookies, right?  Wrong! Near the end of the episode, Daisy and Anna receive a message that says, “let them be happy with my love.”  Cut to: Mary and Matthew.  I know! I guess Lavinia found a way to be selfless once again and give her blessing. To sum up, the moral of the Downton Abbey story is that nobility is the most important thing and even Death won’t stop it.

Even Edith couldn’t escape Nobility’s grip this week. She is reconnected with Sir Strallan who has lost the use of his right hand in the war. Edith tries to get their thing going again but is nobility-blocked by Strallan who says he is too old and injured and to forget him!  Poor thing has no luck in love: the married farmer, the burned former amnesiac and now old, bad-hand guy. At least she got screen time because Sybil got pregnant off screen and she and Branson never appeared!

Also not getting a lot of screen time? Isis the dog. Thomas hides her so that he can rescue her and get back into Lord Grantham’s good graces.  See, he’s keen on getting Bates’ valet job since Bates is in jail. The plan doesn’t quite go off without a hitch but he’s still getting his chance at dressing LG.  Not quite believing that LG would replace Bates? Well, a guilty verdict tends to make you rethink things. A man can’t dress himself, after all.

Mrs. Hughes, O’Brien and Lord Grantham are all called to testify at Bates’ trial. And they all have to say something damning to his case because they are under oath. Bates, of course, forgives them and tells Anna to do so as well. They were just telling the truth. Later he tells Anna to make friends and have fun while he rots. Even in jail, folks, Bates never fails to be Bates.

Anna’s reaction was quite heartbreaking at the verdict. Even more so when the judge gave the Death By Hanging sentence. Matthew and the lawyer try to console her with a “no big deal, they have to say that”. Eventually, they get the sentence reduced to Life Imprisonment. This deters Anna from accompanying Mary to America to stay with her grandmother, who we now know is Shirley MacLaine. Let us all take a moment to imagine the Marathon of Quipping that will take place between Shirley, Isobel and the Dowager Countess in Season Three.

Why America? To escape the impending scandal-rama that CREEPY Sir Richard will unleash due to Mary breaking up with him. Her fiancé is getting on her nerves and everyone is noticing his impatience and his general, all around dickish-ness. He, on the other hand, has been noticing how much time she spends with Matthew. So much so that now Isobel is telling Matthew that Mary is still in love with him. It’s too late, he says. At one point, she cuts him off with a “please don’t invoke the name of that sweet, dead girl again.” Amen.

Before Mary’s break up, Lord Grantham is perplexed as to why she is with CREEPY. There has to be some reason that I don’t know about it, he wonders to his wife. “Well, yes…” says Lady Grantham. Pamuk strikes again! LG is disappointed but with the Bates’ scandal and Sybil having a chauffeur baby, he tells Mary, “Find a cowboy in the Middle West and bring him back here to shake things up a bit.” I love that LG is like, “Whatever! We’re the Scandal-filled Family.”

Mary then tells Matthew the Pamuk Brouhaha and then begs for his forgiveness. He says something noble like, “You don’t need my forgiveness. You’ve lived your life and I’ve lived mine and something something something.” And apparently, Matthew does not think Mary is damaged goods because he proposes to her at the end and she accepts! After Lavinia’s beyond-the-grave consent!

CREEPY leaves Downton Abbey, and Mary, quite maturely, sees him off. I, for one, wish it was Maggie Smith sending him off. She took him down a few times this episode, much to my delight. During the Crawley Christmas Charades game, CREEPY Sir Richard says he would never play a game that would make him look ridiculous. Maggie replies, “Life is a game where the player must appear ridiculous.” When it is his turn, she says, “How soon your maxim will be tested.” Prophetic considering that he and Matthew get into a vase-breaking scrap which ends with him declaring that he will be leaving. He says to Maggie, “I doubt we will meet again.” To which she replies, “Do you promise?”

The Dowager Countess also takes down Lord Hepworth who is pursuing her daughter, Lady Rosamund. Seems she knows that Hepworth is broke but Rosamund knows this as well and doesn’t care. However, she does care when Hepworth is canoodling with her maid, Miss Shore. They are quickly dismissed which is good because Miss Shore made some snarky comment about Bates and I WON’T HAVE THAT.

What else did I learn from the Christmas Special? That I’m sad it’s over and I have to wait another year for Season Three.

Thoughts? Predictions? Will Edith find a man in a coma to love?