Let’s get the immaturity out of the way. Yes, the health expert’s name is J.J. Virgin. Yes, she keeps referring to The Virgin Diet. And yes, there is a big sign that says “VIRGIN” over her shoulder. Are you done giggling?
Now, in all seriousness: What foods do we abstain from? Are cherries on the list? This is my first time with this diet, please be gentle.
Drop 7 Foods, Feel Better Fast! features the aforementioned J.J. Virgin who is a board-certified holistic nutritionist and has devised a plan where if you eliminate seven specific foods from your diet for three weeks, you will feel better and may lose seven pounds in seven days. How do I know this? She said it many times within 15 minutes before revealing the first food to drop. Hear me now: when I get a pledge special, I will reveal the bullet points right off the bat. How will I keep you watching? I will have a guy spinning plates behind me as I explain each point.
The Foods To Drop!
- Soy
- Peanuts
- Sugar
- Corn
- Eggs
- Dairy
- Gluten
AKA: the ingredients that are in EVERYTHING!
Why the hate for these? Virgin explains…
- Soy affects metabolism, it’s full of GMOs and is heavily processed
- Peanuts have a high allergen potential and are susceptible to a mold that can develop into a carcinogen
- Sugar raises insulin and cortisol and causes inflammation
- Corn is a hidden source of sugar and is also full of GMOs
- Eggs cause an immune response that…I didn’t catch all of this one
- Dairy does not help with weight loss, can cause skin problems and does not guard against bone fractures
- Gluten can damage the small intestine and is connected to auto-immune diseases
BUT THESE ARE IN EVERYTHING!
Virgin did not have an answer for this. She instead gave a list of alternatives to eat. More bullet points!
- Unsweetened coconut milk or almond milk
- almond butter
- real nuts; not that poser legume, the peanut
- xylitol
- cinnamon or vanilla for sweetness
- rice, quinoa, spaghetti squash
- almond flour
- greek-style coconut yogurt
- items you can only get at Whole Foods
Hope this isn’t too depressing. I could have made it worse by listing the symptoms of Leaky Gut Syndrome. But isn’t the phrase Leaky Gut Syndrome depressing enough?
What else did I learn from Drop 7 Foods, Feel Better Fast!? J.J. Virgin is the health guru on The Dr. Phil Show. A lot of sugar cravings are genetic. Your gut can leak.
