I believe Bates put it best when he said: “Imagine me feeling sorry for Thomas.”
Thomas, didn’t you hear me when I yelled to the TV, “Don’t do it! Don’t sneak into Jimmy’s room!”? All of your troubles could have been avoided. Alas. One well timed kiss on Sleeping Jimmy while Alfred bursts through the door has sent Thomas to Mr. Carson’s office. Carson berates him with a “what were you thinking?” to which Thomas replies, “When you’re like me, you read the signs as best you can.” Damn, Thomas, first you get me with your Lady Sybil grieving and now this. He is forced to resign but will be given a good reference until O’Brien gets wind of it and sets Jimmy to threaten calling the police if he doesn’t get a bad reference. Enter Bates, fresh from prison. He figures out that O’Brien is behind it all and being that he is Bates and can’t help himself, he goes to help his old nemesis. Bates asks Thomas if there is anything he can say to O’Brien to get her to call off Jimmy. Well, apparently whispering “her Ladyship’s soap” in her ear will do it right quick. (For those of you compiling a Downton Abbey Euphemism Guide, please add “Her Ladyship’s Soap” under “Phrases For Dark & Dirty Secrets” and “London seems to have tired me out” to “Besides ‘I’ve Got A Headache’, What Else Can You Say?” Credit to Lady Mary for that last one.)
Well, O’Brien tries to calm down Jimmy but he’s still riled up and will go to the police. Who can save Thomas now? Enter Son Of the Fixer! Yes, Lord Grantham for all his “old ways” rumblings this season is surprisingly blasé about homosexuality: “If I cried blue murder every time someone tried to kiss me at Eton, I would have been hoarse in a month.” Also, don’t mess with LG’s cricket match! Who cares if Thomas is gay as long as he is on the House team for the match against the village? So LG makes Jimmy First Footman to keep his mouth shut, explains that the two lads were just wrestling to the York police after Alfred calls them and makes Thomas the Under Butler much to Bates’ chagrin. At least Bates has a lovely cottage with Anna who called him “Mister Stick-Up-Your-Jumper” at one point. I don’t remember why but I loved it.
Let’s take a moment to reflect on the slow-mo Cricket Victory shot of LG and his sons-in-law, Matthew and Branson. LG, Son Of the Fixer, also coerced Branson into playing by agreeing to mull over Matthew’s financial plan for the estate. Jarvis, the estate agent, up and quit upon hearing the scheme, making some analogy to brooms. Branson is given the job, ensuring that he’s around for Season 4. So if Downton Abbey is truly a soap opera then in Season 4, Sybbie the baby should be about 16.
Speaking of 16-year-olds, a random daughter of the Dowager Countess’ goddaughter comes to stay. She flees Edith, Rosamund and Matthew in London to carouse around with an older married man. DC finds out and sends the girl, Rose, to Scotland with a boring aunt. I’m not sure why this story line occurred but perhaps for these lines:
- “It’s like the outer circle of Dante’s Inferno.” — Matthew on entering a jazz club.
- “The outer circle?” — Rosamund
- And the Dowager Countess on parenthood, “the on and on-ness of it”.
While her son is taking care of the main house, the Dowager Countess aka The Fixer is meddling in Isobel’s home. She had Edith place an advert for Ethel in the London papers without Isobel’s or Ethel’s knowledge. DC is trying to cure the “miasma of scandal” around the family. Ethel gets a response from a woman who lives near the Bryants. She decides to stay, not wanting to run across her boy’s grandparents. That doesn’t sit well with The Fixer. She asks Isobel and Ethel to come by her house where Mrs. Bryant is waiting and wanting Ethel to take the position. The Dowager Countess does that a lot, doesn’t she? Word of warning: if you get an invite from her, be prepared for a blindside. So long story short, Isobel needs a new cook.
Was it Matthew’s sperm that was the problem? No, Mary had a bum uterus but it’s fixed now!
What else did I learn from Part 6? Edith can pick ’em. She had a flirty flirt with her new editor but had the good sense to find out some info on him. I guess by now she thinks, “there has to be something wrong with him.” And there is! He’s married…but his wife is in an asylum. I can see Edith weighing the pros and cons right now. Alfred took Ivy to the movies and tried to convince her that Jimmy is not interested but to no avail. Isis was spotted only twice during the two hour episode but in order to make up for that Lord Grantham and the Dowager Countess posed for a picture with a priest.
Bonus lines!
- “Have you changed your pills? –Isobel to the Dowager Countess when she encourages Edith’s writing
- “It was more like a gymnastic display.” — Lord Grantham regarding mass in Rome
- “What’s the bet we’ll have a chorus of Molly Malone before the end?” — Lord Grantham, once again being vaguely racist
- “What’s The Scarlet Letter?” — the unread Dowager
- “If he’s the agent then we can call him Branson again, thank God.” — the Dowager
- “Cousin Isobel is very literal.” — the Dowager, needless to say
- “Get back in the knife box, Miss Sharp.” — O’Brien to Anna
- “Why do you have to be a big girl’s blouse about this?” — Bates to Jimmy, and me to someone this week most likely
Next week, the Christmas Special!
