Bates News first: Anna finds out that he is back in the village, working at a pub. He tells her that he has proof that his [EVIL] wife was cheating on him so he can divorce her. Tears of joy. Let’s step back and look at an emerging pattern:
- “I will pay off my wife and we’ll get divorced.”
- “I’m leaving with my wife and you must forget me.”
- “She was cheating, I’ll pay her off and we’ll get divorced.”
So methinks Part Three will not be a good one for Anna. Prove me wrong, man.
Now my love for the Man Who Cried Divorce hasn’t waived just yet but he has some serious competition from Lord Grantham due to his “THE DOG IS ALLOWED WHEREVER HE PLEASES!” attitude. Yes, Part Two sees Downton Abbey being converted into a convalescent hospital, spearheaded by the doctor and Cousin Isobel. I like how Isobel is written as such that I find myself rooting for the super rich for being put out by wounded soldiers. I mean, how intrusive! Half of Lord Grantham’s library is partitioned off for the men’s rec room. At one point, LG is reading a newspaper when a ping pong flies over the wall. And I thought, “Did Downton Abbey just rip off Revenge Of the Nerds?!?!”
Part Two also brought us Not-Enough-Maggie-Smith. She and her daughter got the scoop on Lavinia for Mary. It seems Lavinia stole some info that Game Of Thrones Dude printed in his paper that got her uncle fired. Uncle was guilty but she must have stolen it because she and GoTD were lovers. “You must tell Matthew.” Mary, who is my heartbreaker this season, instead tells Lavinia that this news is floating around. Lavinia confirms the stealing but says, “Lovers? No.” Matthew is still none the wiser. He goes off to war again, this time with possibly William as his servant. Oh yes, William and Daisy are engaged. Or maybe it’s William and Mrs. Padmore since she was the one who that pretty much said yes for her.
Team O’Brang news: all the servants are woken up by Lang’s war night terrors. O’Brien calms him down. Lang made me mad tonight because Mrs. Padmore told him about her coward nephew in order to make him feel better and he goes and blurts it out at dinner! Wow, shell shock AND no discretion!
Branson the Socialist Chauffeur is called up for war but fails his medical examine because of a heart murmur. He’s actually disappointed because he wanted to embarrass the military by making a scene as a conscientious objector. Instead, he hatches a plan to pour soup made with cow patties on a visiting general’s head. Anna and Carson think he was going to murder the general but no, just a little Split Poo Soup. (I’m not proud of that one.)
What else did I learn from Part Two? Lady Cora v. Isobel is heating up nicely. Edith is the soldier’s MVP for actually sitting down and listening to them. Stop being nice, Edith! Thank goodness Thomas is back to being a jerk or I wouldn’t have anyone to hate except EVIL Mrs. Bates. Also, Anna offers to be Bates’ mistress and Bates, of course, nobly turns her down. He wants her to be an honest woman. That’s all fine and good but if the above pattern holds true then “Anna Bates” won’t happen until Season Four…
